The Lies We Keep

It happened. Caleb's kindergarten teacher informed us that Caleb had been telling his classmates that Santa isn't real, and the parents weren't too happy about that. So we had to have the awkward conversation with Caleb about not ruining other people's Christmas fun by telling them the truth. Caleb replied, "but how can I tell them about Jesus if they think Santa's real?" Good question for a five-year-old, I think. And exactly the reason that Taralyn and I decided against going with the whole "Santa Clause is real" thing. As it has been pointed out in many other blogs, if we can't be honest with our kids about one person, how will they know that we mean what we're saying about another Person?

I know, it's all about communication. Talking with your kids. Explaining why you had to lie to "keep the magic of Christmas alive", but they really can trust you when you talk about God. Somehow that doesn't sit right with me. I wonder if many parents really wonder whether God is not like Santa, a lie we tell ourselves to "keep the magic alive" but deep down we really know the unspoken secret.  After having spent a decade in youth ministry, I can tell you that most of those Christian youth will grow up to discard the stories that they've been told to believe about Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and God.

I believe in fairy tales. I read stories to my children all the time. We watch movies, both cartoons and live action. And we observe all that's right about Santa Clause, St. Nick, the Christian pastor who loved Jesus and loved others in His Name. My kids sit on his lap and we have pictures from before we had kids. My kids love Santa Clause. But they also know that the guy dressed in red with a beard in the mall is a nice man playing a role like somebody in a movie, not a creepy elf who breaks into our house to watch them sleep and leave them gifts.

My kids talk about Santa, but they don't "believe in" Santa. And that's the problem we found ourselves in when Caleb tried to help his little buddies discover that Christmas is about more than just Santa - it's about Jesus' birth and God coming to earth and sacrificing Himself to absorb the wrath of God on our behalf (OK so my 5-year-old doesn't put it just like that, but something close). Parents don't want their kids to know the truth. They'd rather my kids tow the line and have them keep believing the lie. And I'm the bad guy when my kids break that all-important Christmas rule.
That's not the only lie we are told to keep, or the only truth we're to keep at bay. There's another, even more insidious lie that our culture blithely promotes, beyond all logic or understanding. It's the lie that everybody's belief system is equally valid.

Anybody who says that two beliefs can't be equally true is considered intolerant and irreverent. We live in a culture that chooses to keep a blind eye on the topics that divide us, those things that we don't agree about, and celebrate those things that "unite" us. And in order to keep us all in step, we're forbidden to speak about divisive issues. Like Caleb, we're told to keep the Truth quiet so that others won't feel awkward or different.

Jesus was murdered for being intolerant. It's the truth. You might want to say that He died to show us love, which is true. Or that He died to absorb the wrath of God, which is also certainly true. Or that He died to give us an example of love - okay. But the reason that people had Him murdered is because of His exclusive claims to be God. He threatened their belief systems, He rejected their cultural doctrine. And He gained a following. So they killed Him for it. Jesus' followers have continued proclaiming His exclusive truth claim, that He alone is our only hope of redemption and salvation, and reconciliation with God, and the cultural elites (string theorists and movie stars, apparently) claim that this message is just as true as the Muslims' claim that Jesus was a prophet, no more, who was never killed or the Jews' claim that Jesus is not the Messiah.

And for me to point out the error in the belief that Christianity, Islam and Judaism can be equally valid receives the same response as Caleb telling kids in his class that Santa doesn't really deliver all their presents. "SHHHHHH! Don't ask, don't tell, and we can all just get along with the magic of our lie."

Taralyn and I told Caleb that he doesn't have to talk about Santa at all in order to tell his friends about Jesus. Don't tell them Santa's not real, Caleb. Kids need something to believe.

But I think it's time that the rest of us grow up, and start telling the truth even if the truth makes us feel awkward.